You Know You’re Broke When…
The other day I was driving in the car to work and realized that I was checking my gauges a little more often than normal. You would think that this meant I was looking at the speedometer because there was a police car around, but no… It was the gas gauge. I was obsessing over how much gas it was taking me to get to work. I swear I could just see it going down. I had a sudden epiphany in this moment and realized…I AM BROKE!
Of course I’m in college and always broke…but this time it’s different. When I used to be “broke” I would start eating at the mexican restaurant only once a week instead of three times. So this time, I know I’m broke, and here’s how…
You Know You’re Broke When…
1. You start deciding to walk everywhere to save on gas.
2. You pay your roommate the $3.83 you owe her…in a bag full of pennies… (true story)
3. Your boyfriend takes such pity on you and your complaining that he (literally) forces you to take money from him.
4. The Craigslist “Free” Section is your new homepage.
5. Two words…Drip Dry
6. You start buying the cardboard tampons…trust me, they do not glide as well.
7. You start buying store brand cheese (goodbye Tillamook Medium Cheddar)
8. You sit at home all day with the curtains open (natural light, no electricity) and count your change for entertainment.
9. You start drinking Natural Ice because it’s leftover from the “White Trash” Party the other night.
10. Your sister feels bad and comes over to “hang out” aka buy groceries for you.
11. You start wearing clothes more than once to save on laundry…just a quick smell test…
12. You start showering every OTHER day instead of everyday
13. You start buying your groceries with change. This really pisses off the people behind you.
14. You get excited becuase you discovered a Barnes and Noble gift card that you realize you can use it at the cafe. Yes! Free lunch!
15. You start saying things like…”It’s not THAT moldy…”
16. You eat the entire bag of stale tortilla chips cause it’s food, and you need something…
17. You start getting creative with the ways you cook Top Ramen. (Microwave…Stove Top…oooh, which one…)
18. You find a coupon…and actually cut it out and use it…
19. The standard of meals per day falls to two…sometimes just one.
20. Quarters are like gold
21. Your idea of feeding the poor is going to the grocery store…for yourself.
22. Your idea of treating yourself is the dessert menu at McDonalds
23. You start washing your plastic utensils
24. You start joining clubs because of the free food.
25. You’ve written a check for less than a dollar and stopped to get less than $5 in gas.
Thank you for helping our economy wonderful President Obama. “Joe” (aka Bessy) is really feeling the help of the bailout now. Thank you for the stimulus package. I will be forwarding my electricity bill to you.
March 18th, 2009 saat: 11:19 am
OMG OMG OMG OMG
I laughed HARD AND LOUD when I hit #4 and didn’t stop, just became more boisterous when I got to #24 and then, the political plug, FANTASTIC. BEST POST EVER. pee my pants awesome.
You REALLY should post this on facebook too.
March 18th, 2009 saat: 11:35 am
Really Bessy. This was incredible. One of the funniest things I’ve read in a long time! You are awesome.
I’m with ya on these, except for the cardboard tampons, that’s the last luxary I’m trying to hang on to!!!
March 19th, 2009 saat: 8:46 am
[...] posting the “You Know You’re Broke When…” blog, I came across a hilarious composite of similar things titled “You Know You’re In [...]
July 14th, 2009 saat: 2:26 pm
Just found your blog via Googling, “You Know You’re Broke When….”
Here’s one I’m doing: when you start wondering how long you can run your car on fumes.
Here’s a few I thought of:
-When you’re out of shampoo & use Dawn. (Not reccomended.)
-You rip your favorite skirt and wonder if Goodwill has a clearance rack.
-When you secretly steal the free coffee filters and coffee bags at work.
-When you’re Googling ‘egg donation’ because HEY. It’s like $10k AND you’re helping a deserving couple….Right?