This weeks favs: Adapted from Tammy Typer

drinking: Margaritas
watching: Dexter Season 4
listening to: Cee Lo – Fuck You!
reading: Anything of unimportance
exercising: Yes!
doing: Not my husband, or anyone else for that matter… insert sad face here.
feeling: (see – “listening to”)

Today, I woke up ever so slightly after I had planned, took my normal shower, sacrificed the toast and latte and was about to head straight to meet a new client. I was sifting through the clothes that I had washed last night and could not for the life of me find my work shirt. Searching, searching, searching the whole entire house… Nothing. Twenty minutes later I find that BBF (now Big Bald Fiance) didn’t have room for some of the clothes in the wash last night, and those were some that remained in the dirty clothes. Good thing that was the ENTIRE reason I wanted to do laundry last night – to wash my work shirts that were beginning to smell. It was pouring down rain and evidently when you live in a city where it rains a substantial amount of the year, people still don’t have any clue how to drive in it. I passed SIX accidents along the way. Not to mention the stupid tunnel was closed so I had to take the five million car-long detour around it; only to be stopped in front of some idiot that took a corner too fast and ended up running into the median…facing the opposite direction. Seattle’s finest. Thanks to my excellent driving and shifting skills I managed to make it through three yellow lights, only to be stopped by every other red light. Of course, no green ones. Still made it only two minutes late…somehow. In your face Murphy! Whoever the hell you are…

Maybe it’s for those random times when you are telling a friend about someone you used to know that you’re friends with on facebook. You know the story… “oh my gosh, when I was in high school, there was this guy that… (really funny story ensues)… you should totally look him up on facebook”.

Or maybe it’s the times when you get to have a look back at those former friends and see who got married, had kids, gained weight, is dating someone you know…etc… but other than those rare once a month times, it’s really pretty annoying.

My current complaint is the stupid couples that post on each other’s walls about how much they love each other. Really? Like “I love you, babe. You’re the greatest!” or “Thanks so much for visiting me at work today. You’re so sweet. I’m so lucky I found you”. Excuse me while I vomit. Why the hell do you feel the need to gross out the rest of the public with your public displays of affection. I don’t give a crap about  how much you love each other. Especially when you see each other EVERY FREAKING DAY! Come on!

But no one says it better than Julian Smith…

25 Things I Hate About Facebook

Flutter

As we were laughing about this realization she said, “well that’s where all your psychological issues started isn’t it? With the cereal box?” We laughed histarically at this for a couple minutes and then i said, “you know, it’s kind of true that a lot of issues start with the cereal box. I mean, not just sibling rivalry, but a lot of nutrtitional issues as well. (I’m in the exercise/health/nutrition/medical field so naturally always think about those things). You see, cereal is really not a good breakfast because it’s so processed. And even if it is “whole grain” it’s still not really that good for you. That was when I had my epiphany….

Picture this…a cereal box knocked over on the counter with some cereal carefully spilling out and the toy just visible at the bottom of the box. This is the cover to my future nutritional book… “It All Started With the Cereal Box…” Keep an eye out for it at a store near you (in fifteen years)!

1. High school started before 8am, but now anything before noon is considered “early.”

2. You have more beer than food in your fridge.

3. Weekends start on Thursday. No… Wednesday.

4. Instead of falling asleep in class, you stay in bed.

5. Your underwear/sock supply dictates your laundry schedule.

6. You check Facebook/Myspace more than once a day.

7. You wash dishes in the bathroom sink.

8. You talk about beer pong like it’s a sport.

9. You open a beer at 10 am and your roommate asks you if there’s more.

10. Your trash is overflowing and your bank account isn’t.

11. You wear the same jeans for 13 days without washing them.

12. You live in a house with three couches, none of which match.

13. You try to study but seem to procrastinate by eating, going to study breaks, talking to people, etc…

14. Certain things are now deemed “facebook worthy.” When friends take pictures of you, you wonder how long it will take them to post them.

15. You’ve traveled with bags of dirty clothes.

16. You go home to do your laundry because you’re too poor to pay the $2… or too lazy to go to a change machine.

17. You pay $100 for a book you maybe read once, return it four months later, and get $7.

18. It takes preparation… and 3 people… to take out your garbage.

19. You wear flip flops in the shower your freshman year… you know why.

20. You skip one class to write a paper for another.

21. You have no idea where your tuition money is going… technology fees? I think not.

22. You stay up late to finish homework then sleep through the class in which it was due.

23. Your bill in the bookstore will be comparable to tuition.

24. You never realized so many people are smarter than you.

25. You never realized so many people are more dumb (aka “dumber”) than you.

26. Western Europe could be wiped out by a terrible plague and you’d never know, but you can recite the last episode of your favorite show verbatim.

27. Care packages rank right up there with birthdays.

28. Printers break down only when you desperately need them.

29. Old school Nintendo… and guitar hero… are pretty much the best things ever.

30. Going to the grocery at midnight is completely normal.

31. You call restaurants that deliver more than you call your own family.

32. You can’t imagine life without your computer/cell phone/ ipod.

33. A canceled class is almost as exciting as Christmas.

34. The elevators take forever but you’ll wait 10 minutes just so you don’t have to climb stairs.

35. You press the automatic door opener instead of simply grabbing the handle when you approach a door.

36. Christmas lights seem to be acceptable all year round.

37. Class size doubles on exam days.

38. There’s always a “question kid” in at least one of your classes, and you really wish someone would just tell him/her to shut the hell up.

39. You no longer find it uncool to take naps. In fact, you quite enjoy them.

40. You’ve eaten cereal out of a cup… with a fork.

41. You become increasingly annoyed with the “old” people in class – props to them for going back to college but they generally ask really, really annoying questions.

42. You set your clock 5-10 minutes ahead so you can potentially make it to class on time.

43. You eventually realize that setting your clock ahead makes no difference to you and you’re still late.

44. You only find out a class is cancelled after you get there and sit for about ten minutes.

45. You run out of black ink and, instead of buying a new ink cartridge, decide blue is a nice substitute… adds a little flair.

46. The words “google” and “youtube” have become verbs. And you use them… quite often.

47. Your floor has been dirty to the point that you’ve had to brush your feet off before putting on socks or getting into bed.

48. You finish reading this and wonder how you can procrastinate next.

Of course I’m in college and always broke…but this time it’s different. When I used to be “broke” I would start eating at the mexican restaurant only once a week instead of three times. So this time, I know I’m broke, and here’s how…

You Know You’re Broke When…

1. You start deciding to walk everywhere to save on gas.

2. You pay your roommate the $3.83 you owe her…in a bag full of pennies… (true story)

3. Your boyfriend takes such pity on you and your complaining that he (literally) forces you to take money from him.

4. The Craigslist “Free” Section is your new homepage.

5. Two words…Drip Dry

6. You start buying the cardboard tampons…trust me, they do not glide as well.

7. You start buying store brand cheese (goodbye Tillamook Medium Cheddar)

8. You sit at home all day with the curtains open (natural light, no electricity) and count your change for entertainment.

9. You start drinking Natural Ice because it’s leftover from the “White Trash” Party the other night.

10. Your sister feels bad and comes over to “hang out” aka buy groceries for you.

11. You start wearing clothes more than once to save on laundry…just a quick smell test…

12. You start showering every OTHER day instead of everyday

13. You start buying your groceries with change. This really pisses off the people behind you.

14. You get excited becuase you discovered a Barnes and Noble gift card that you realize you can use it at the cafe. Yes! Free lunch!

15. You start saying things like…”It’s not THAT moldy…”

16. You eat the entire bag of stale tortilla chips cause it’s food, and you need something…

17.  You start getting creative with the ways you cook Top Ramen. (Microwave…Stove Top…oooh, which one…)

18. You find a coupon…and actually cut it out and use it…

19. The standard of meals per day falls to two…sometimes just one.

20. Quarters are like gold

21. Your idea of feeding the poor is going to the grocery store…for yourself.

22. Your idea of treating yourself is the dessert menu at McDonalds

23. You start washing your plastic utensils

24. You start joining clubs because of the free food.

25. You’ve written a check for less than a dollar and stopped to get less than $5 in gas.

Thank you for helping our economy wonderful President Obama. “Joe” (aka Bessy) is really feeling the help of the bailout now. Thank you for the stimulus package. I will be forwarding my electricity bill to you.

This is awesome!

Type in your name and the word “needs” into Google (e.g. “Paul needs”) and type (or cut and paste) the first 10 things (eliminate repeats, of course!) that come up

1. Bessy needs a new home

2. Bessy needs to poo

3. Bessy needs a drink on this date

4. Bessy needs your help

5. Bessy needs boots that are made for walking

6. Bessy needs a family

7. Bessy needs to take over from Emma Clarke

8. Bessy needs to borrow money to pay her bills

9. Bessy needs a big sister

10. Bessy needs new holes in her skin